Task type: Essay (2)

Writing Paper: Part 1 Task type: Essay

Read the two texts below.

Write an essay summarising and evaluating the key points from both texts. Use your own words throughout as far as possible and include your own ideas in your answers.

 

 

Raising the Bar for School Sports The National Sports Academy is running a series of workshops aimed at encouraging more teenagers to get involved in sport. The workshops are for teachers and will look at how to promote the numerous benefits of physical exercise and team sports to school pupils. “Exercise helps to maintain a stable weight, strengthen bones and reduces the risk of stress-related illnesses.” explained Tim Collins, the Academy Director. “Aside from health benefits taking part in competitive sports gives teenagers a chance to experience the highs and lows of a competition, as well as instilling discipline, responsibility and commitment - all valuable life skills.”

Sport seen as Uncool Teenagers are spending less time on physical exercise because they find it deeply "uncool", according to a survey of teachers and pupils. The problem is most prevalent amongst older teenagers. Girls are uncomfortable about sharing sports classes with boys and avoid swimming lessons because of a fear that it will spoil their hairstyles. And both sexes were scathing in the survey about the unfashionable PE uniform that had to be worn. The choice of sports available was also too limited. Teachers said they would like to see codes for sports kits relaxed, single sex physical education classes and a wider range of activities to combat the decline in activity.

Write the essay. (around 240 - 280 words)

What you need to include to passClick here for our checklist first to understand what the examiner is looking for in a good answer.

Ideas for writingAsk yourself the following questions to help you get started:

• What are the key points in each extract?
• How do the points in each text relate to each other?
  - Do both texts have different points of view?
  - Do the texts complement each other in any way?
• Now make some notes about your reaction to the key points in each text:
  E.g. Health: are teenagers concerned about the health benefits of sport?
  Sports: are certain sports likely to be more appealing to teenagers?
• Whilst making notes think about how you might paraphrase the key points to avoid copying sections from the texts.
• Do you have any anecdotal evidence to support your own views?
  E.g. "My own memories of PE classes and sports days are somewhat mixed ..."
• How many paragraphs should your essay have? What will the focus of each paragraph be?

Drafting and proofreading your work
You should look at your first draft of the task and decide:

• Have you answered the question fully?
• Is the layout and organisation appropriate for a proposal?
• Is the language accurate with a good range of structures?
• Is the style appropriate and consistent for your proposal?
• Will it be useful and helpful for the other committee members?

If the answer is 'no' to any of these questions then you will need to do some more drafting!

Writing Paper: Part 1
Task type: Essay

Content Should include a summary of the the key points in each text. The essay should also include an evaluation of these key points including the writer's own views on the subject.

Communicative achievementShould be fairly formal as that is consistent with the requirements of an academic essay. The reader would get a clear summary of the two texts along with the writer's point of view.

OrganisationThe essay must be divided into clear paragraphs and these should be linked appropriately. The format should be that of a standard essay, i.e. without headings in the body of the essay.

Language Language of evaluation, discussion, comparison (between the two texts) narrative (use of a personal anecdote) and speculation (possible results of various schemes). Topic vocabulary relating to sport and teenage attitudes. For example: 'physically active', 'character-building', 'to be self-conscious', 'physical appearance', 'peer group pressure', 'more flattering sports kits' ... ect. Does not have to be completely accurate but any errors should be minimal.

Model answer

It is widely accepted that taking part in sporting activities is highly beneficial, whether it is the character building qualities developed through competitive team sports or simply the health benefits of physical exercise. One of the earliest chances we have of discovering sport comes through the PE classes we have at primary and secondary school. The first text, a promotion for workshops aimed at teachers, acknowledges this. However, there's also an implication that not enough schoolchildren are being offered or taking up the opportunity to participate in sport. Why else would there be a need to run workshops to promote PE in schools{1}?

The answer seems to be provided in the second text, namely that school sports have an image problem with many teenagers leading to low participation levels{2}. This is especially noticeable amongst older teenagers and girls in particular at a point in their lives when self-image is increasingly important. There are several reasons given for this: the embarrassment of taking part in mixed-sex sports, the 'damage' swimming can do to girls' hairstyles, the regimental school uniforms worn by school pupils and a lack of choice of available sports{3}.

Sport is an essential part of the school curriculum. In addition to encouraging good health, the pleasures of team sports only become apparent to those who have had the opportunity to take part. Also, as is mentioned in the text, it instills real-world skills that some might argue are sadly missing in today's society such as discipline and commitment. However, it should also be an enjoyable part of the curriculum, a lesson that youngsters look forward to rather than dread.{4} For this reason schools should make every effort to offer a wide range of single-sex activities and not insist on the wearing of a uniform. If young people are given a taste of the joys of sport there is more chance they will maintain that interest into adult life.